I honestly don't know what to say

I wanted to blog since yesterday...well actually, the days before that already. But it seemed like I couldn't form any intelligent words. All I know is that I was so angry, so mad, so frustrated...yeah, you get the point. You know it's bad when there's homicidal thoughts involved. I never liked violence, but at that point I just wanted to start already and go against what I believe in. I wanted to attack, to let them know what they did and are still doing is beyond wrong. Maybe I'm exaggerating, but can you blame me? I feel like I've been stepped on, kick to the curb, like I've been beaten up by a gang and was just left lying there holding on to life. That was what I really felt. I felt like I've been pushed aside...and really far because I'm not important to them, because we're not friends...and my fiance is more important to them, I don't matter. It might seem like a little thing to them, or it might mean nothing to them...but I'm just fed up...tired of keeping all of these feelings inside, pretending that I'm okay with what they were doing to me, pretending that I'm fine, because I'm being the good fiancee of their friend who they keep flirting with...and like what Taylor Swift had said in her song..."bulletproof". I'm done with the good girl act. I'm through playing nice.

I'm ready to attack anytime soon. Just you wait. Try me.