Borderline

This is not a reference to a Madonna song. :-P I felt inspired suddenly last night while I was in bed and I decided I'm gonna write about it today.

In this blog I'm gonna talk about my version of the ups and downs of being friends with a member of the opposite sex. My version, which means what I'm gonna tell here is just based on my experiences and observations. It may not be true in your case, but it's true in mine. This also does not apply to all guys, but from some guys I've been friends with.

It's fun having guy friends. In my honest opinion, it's actually easier to make friends with guys than girls. Maybe because, like Pax had said, girls innately hate each other, which I'm starting to see now too. Hahaha! In my 17 years of experience of making friends, it really takes some effort to make girl friends. Whereas when I made friends with guys, all it took was just small talk and jokes, then voila...instant guy friend. A guy friend is also easier to talk to. They rarely get offended by what you say, unless it's really below-the-belt offensive or that guy is super sensitive. Sometimes they take it as a joke instead. For a girl like me who sometimes can't control what she says out loud, that is really helpful. When I'm with the girls, I always have to control what I say because girls are even more sensitive (not all, but most) and I know that, even I'm guilty of it. So basically I have an easier time being myself with the guys other than with the girls.

The downside (it depends though, it's not always a downside) of this though is that borderline of friendship. It's true that you can't help who you fall for, so you can fall easily for your guy friend. I mean this has happened to me twice already, when I was 17-18 I fell for my bestfriend and it almost ruined our friendship but we recovered from it, thank God. And then when I was 18 turning to 19, I once again fell for my newest bestfriend at that time, and the advantage of being bestfriends is that we know each other really well in such a short time that we've spent with each other that when we got together it was really easy for us already, we didn't have to adjust much.

It gets difficult though when the feeling is not mutual. You might fall for your friend but the friend wants to be just that...a friend, nothing more, nothing less. This is like the classic story already. The unrequited love...we all know that, hell there are lots of songs about that. But sometimes, it just isn't meant to be. This also has happened to me already, a friend has fallen for me but I don't feel the same way, and I had fallen for a friend but he doesn't feel the same way. It's hard when you want to cross that borderline, because you put the friendship at risk. I have already lost some friends because of this, but maybe it just really isn't meant to be. Like that time before when I have avoided this person who used to be my friend, I avoided him because I felt uncomfortable with what he was saying to me and his actions towards me too and the way he looks at me, and he even misunderstood my niceness as being interested to him when in truth I was just really comfortable with us being friends. So I avoided him and he got mad and it was the end of our friendship. If you're in that situation and you would want to save that friendship, that's probably the best thing you could do...just accept the fact that you're probably just better off as friends and don't hope for anything more, rather just enjoy the friendship, and if you were in my situation, honesty is the best policy. Just tell him/her the truth that you just want to stay friends and that it was making you uncomfortable so he/she would be aware instead of giving him/her false hopes. It's really a hard thing to do because people sometimes would get defensive and say that it was not his/her intention anyways, when it was in fact obvious, but at least you were honest that you were feeling uncomfortable, that would at least make him/her aware.

And wow...this blog is long so I'mma stop rambling now. And once again, I'm gonna repeat, this was just based on my experiences and observations, so you're free to agree or disagree, it's not applicable to all, I just wanted to share my view on this matter. Well I hope you learned something at least. :)

21st Month :D

We've reached our 21st month :D Yay! :D I'm still so happy and so in love with you love, and it grows even stronger as time passes. I love you so so so soooooooooooooooooo much, my love, my Wonder Boy. :D

Only a few months now before our 2nd year together. And I'm so freakin' excited. :D

I Wish We Were Closer To Each Other

If we were closer...he could give me the hugs and kisses I need especially on a bad day. Most of the time he's the only one who can really make me feel better and I think it's unfair that he's on the other side of the world. I wish he was here instead. Only he knows how to take care of me and make me feel better. I can tell everything to him and he doesn't judge me. Heck, he even knows me better than most people I know who are closer to me physically and he understands me better maybe because we're a couple of misunderstood people but it makes us more epic. We're basically soul mates. And no one could ever replace him and what we have.

I just wish I could get him here right now.

On sembreak...and feeling used

So my first semester finally ended last week, last Wednesday to be exact. I wasn't sure how to feel about it at first. Of course, part of me was so relieved that finally, requirements and deadlines and all those academic pressures are over for at least two weeks. And then part of me is still nervous about finding out the results of your hard work...could they be enough to save myself from a 5? One said apparently not enough. *sigh*

But still, so far I know I've passed two subjects already. The other two are still unknown at the moment and they're making me nervous still. Hahaha! But what the heck, last weekend I decided to forget it for a moment and to just enjoy that time with my SF's and plus one's. It was fun and tiring, and I did miss sleep. Hahaha!

Now...feeling used...why?

I don't know either. I just feel like for some reason I'm being used. I mean, I'm not one to ask for something in return when I give, but still...there's a certain limit to that. Sometimes I feel like people only talk to me when they need something, and it sucks, but I still give anyways...hoping that it would be appreciated. Sadly, I don't even feel that much appreciated. *sigh*

Well anyway, I guess I'll just enjoy these weeks without classes while I can. Yay for "us" time love. :D

Yay for Paxmay's 21st month. :D

Insert Cliche Title Here

So it's October 7th...you know what happened that day 2 years ago? If you do...then you're either Pax or Sam or you just really know us...and that doesn't count. :))

But for those who have no idea or just don't care...I don't care either...I would tell anyways because I'm just really happy and amazed.

There I was, an empty piece of a shell,
Just minding my own world,
Without even knowin' what love and life were all about

Then you came,
You brought me out of the shell
You gave the world to me
And before I knew, there I was so in love with you

You gave me a reason for my being
And I love what I'm feelin'
You gave me a meaning to my life
Yes, I've gone beyond existing
And it all began when I met you

Yes, cliche song is cliche, but I don't care...that song is true anyways. :)) October 7th of the year 2007 is the day I met Pax and even if our first conversation was really embarrassing (at least for me) it would always be amazing and magical for me because who knew that stupid lol reply would lead me to the love of my life? :)) Fate, it's what it is. It's just meant to be. :-)

And it really all began when I met him. :-)

Stronger

Paxmay is going strong...and even stronger together as time goes on. Too bad for those people who were hoping for the opposite. ;-)